Today was my Daddy's funeral. Oh how hard it was but I'm so thankful for our family and friends who helped us through this difficult time. My father's services were held at Brown-Cummings Funeral Home in Enid, Oklahoma. They did a great job and he had a lovely service. We had the service in the chapel with a message from both my pastor and my sister's pastor, played some of his favorite music and showed a video with his photos through his life. There were many flowers around his flag-covered casket and two large portraits at each end, one of him alone and one that I recently took at Thanksgiving with his five grandchildren.
After the service, we went to the cemetery where the United States Air Force Silver Talon Honor Guard conducted full military honors. My dad had served in the Air Force both in Germany right after he graduated high school and again for years in the Air Force Reserves where he was part of Operation Desert Storm. The Honor Guard played taps and presented me with the flag which had draped his casket. Oh it was so hard to listen to the bugle with the sound which I had heard so many times before but yet this time was different. This time it was for someone I have loved my whole life. This time Taps were being played for my sweet Daddy, our Papa. My lip quivered and I wanted to throw up. Surely this was a dream in which I would awake but I didn't wake up and it continued.
My father had cancer for quite some time and through his last hospital stay which was about three weeks, I watched him go from a strong man I looked up to as he changed to a frail weak shell of someone I wanted to heal and protect. I still can't believe he's gone. I tried my hardest to become his advocate and speak for him as I was able to spend much of those precious three weeks with him.
I know my life will never be the same because I've lost someone so dear and special to me. I was a Daddy's girl and will always be. My dad helped us so much through our lives. He was a selfless man who would give anything to anyone who was in need. While my husband was battling cancer and receiving medical treatment on the east coast, he lived with my kids for six months so we could continue his treatment. My Daddy was a good man and I will miss him so much. Please pray for my family. My kids and my sister's kids loved him so much and are going to have a hard time with this. I just feel lost without him already. I want to call him like I did everyday and talk to him. I want to see his smile and hear his voice. I want to smell his shaving cream and touch his hand. I love him so much and will always love him.
I've managed to stay busy planning his funeral driving back and forth to Enid with my sister. I haven't had a chance to truly to think about and believe that I will no longer see him. I do have one comfort though.... I believe he was saved and has gone to Heaven. I believe that I will see him again someday. If you have faith and believe that you're a sinner and ask Christ for forgiveness and have faith, you'll be saved too. I have faith that I will see my Daddy again. I'm selfish though and wish I still had him here with me. I hope to make my Daddy proud through all the rest of my life. I love you Daddy.
